I really hate my neighborhood sometimes...

Living in a community filled with housewives with nothing better to do when their kids are in school but to demonize the other kids in the neighborhood. (By the way, I appreciate the hard work of stay at home moms, but when they're gone 8 hours a day, shouldn't that be the point you consider a job?)

I'm not gonna lie. My son isn't the best with rejection. When picked on, he uses his fists over his words, and we're working on those issues.

But the last two months, with the exception of one or two minor incidents (as kids will be kids) he's been SUPER GOOD.

So when we get home from our 10 day trip to Southern California to visit Char's family for Christmas, our neighbor tells us that another neighbor is mad at our kid for something he did to their kid last Friday before Christmas break.

Funny.... We left for California on THURSDAY - and the kids didn't go to school on Thursday (we left at noon).

Yet somehow the neighborhood snitch seems to think this truly happened... despite us being 518 miles.

I haaaaaaaate the moms in this neighborhood.

By the by, I've no problems saying when/if my kids have an issue with something. Moms that think their kids are perfect 24/7 are drinking too much Flav-O-Rite (the phrase is Kool-Aid, but those cult kids didn't actually drink Kool-Aid..Anywho...)

Hey Jane, get me off of this crazy thing.... called spying.

Alcoholics Have All The Fun...

So I'm looking in catalogs left and right to complete shopping for Christmas, and what do I see?

Super COOL stuff for people who drink!

Don't get me wrong, I've oft enjoyed the design of a martini glass, and some of the bottles that package your flavor of choice are pretty creative.

Here are a few things that I'd totally love to use on a daily basis:

1. Jagermeister Tap (Retail $299.99)

I am a fan of cold water. Like really cold. I'm one of those freaks who likes the taste of ice water after brushing my teeth in a snowstorm.

This machine will make any shot served at a perfect 0 degrees. Cool for alcohol, lame for water - since the pipes would freeze before the first droplet hit your glass.

But MAN! Do I like the idea of hooking up Kool-Aid and having instant slushees.

2. Ice Shot Glasses (Retail $10 or so)

These I might buy anyway. They're ice trays that make ice into the shape of shot glasses. Great for keeping drinks cold.

Downside of this item is they're shot glass size. Most people drink in larger increments of soda/juice than a shot of tequila.

3. Original Ring Thing ($7.99)

If only sodas still came in glass jars. Well, regular soda. I know that fancy dancy middle class stuff still suits up the glass, but c'mon mainstream soda companies, let's go retro here.

This way I can rip those metal caps off with a cool ring and look Fonz-like to the crowd.

Okay, these were the main three, but I've seen other cool stuff out there.

I gotta go start my campaign to the Jager people to convert that thing so 'virgin' drinks can be made with them as well.

Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet.

Writings of a Mad Man

So I found an old folder of writings in a box we'd yet to unpack in storage as pulling out the Christmas stuff.

I'd like feedback on what's there so far, especially the most recent entry regarding the novel.

The poetry stuff I don't care about. I wrote those between calls when I worked at Blue Cross Blue Shield our of boredom.

You can find them at http://www.writingsofamadman.com

Thanks!
Jason

I'm such a terrible blogger.

My apologies to those three who read my blog. My real life isn't nearly as interesting as the world I make up in my head.

So for the time being, I'll ask that you occasionally check the Twitter posts on the side, and I'll work on some good entries soon.

We'll see how this pans out and maybe the interwebs will have some entertainment.


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